Jillian's Wellness Team

Jo Ann McKarus

Jo Ann McKarus, M.A., M.F.T., is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in Santa Monica, California — and she also happens to be Jillian's mom. She holds a master's degree in marriage and family therapy and is currently pursuing a doctor of psychology degree in psychoanalysis. Certified in clinical hypnosis and psychoanalytic psychotherapy, she's been working to foster self-awareness and personal growth in adults and couples since 1991.

Bibliotherapy

A while back, some of you asked for a book referral list, and I subsequently began the project of putting one together. As I mentioned at that time, I rarely utilize bibliotherapy in my private practice. For complex reasons having to do (in large part) with fostering unconscious processes and communication in psychoanalysis and analytically informed psychotherapy, referring patients to self-help books is generally not complementary. This is not to say that I don’t think book referrals can’t be very useful in other types of therapy, especially counseling; and outside of therapy, self-help books can serve important functions (education, validation, insight, etc.) and may even be a springboard into therapy. But due to my therapeutic orientation, I didn’t have a comprehensive list of patient-appropriate books readily available. So I turned to trustworthy colleagues and resources to help me flesh one out.

I have endeavored to categorize these book titles according to main subject matter, but please keep in mind that there are frequent overlaps. Just like in real life, psychological issues don’t fall into neatly discrete groupings. Of course, it’s always best to peruse a book before purchasing (amazon.com has this feature on many of the titles it carries).

Your requests followed on the heels of my suggesting John Bradshaw’s book, “Healing the Shame that Binds You,” in one of my blogs on shame. Many of you related to that book in very meaningful ways, and I hope the following books will provide you with similarly worthwhile experiences.

I will continue to add to this list from time to time, and I think it would be a wonderful adjunct if all of you shared discoveries of your own book finds, as well as your thoughts on these titles.

Warmly,
Jo Ann

ACA’s/CO-DEPENDENCE:
“Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics” by Herbert L. Gravitz & Julie Bowden

“Codpendent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” by Melody Beattie

“Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, and J. Keith Miller

“Co-Dependence: Misunderstood-Mistreated” by Anne Schaef

ADULT CHILDREN OF ABUSIVE FAMILES:
“Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw

“Homecoming” by John Bradshaw

“Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused” by Steven Farmer

“Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy & Reclaiming Your Life” by Susan Forward & Craig Buck

“Splintered Emotions: Aftermath of Child Abuse” by Trena Cole “For Your Own Good” by Alice Miller

BORDERLINE/NARCISSISTIC PARENTS:
“The Drama of the Gifted Child” by Alice Miller

“Surviving a Borderline Parent” by Kimberlee Roth, Freda B. Friedman & Randi Kreger

“Children of the Self-Absorbed: a Grown-Ups Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents” by Nina W. Brown

“Why is it Always About You?” by Sandy Hotchkiss

“Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry” by Albert Bernstein

DEPRESSION/ANXIETY:

“The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression” by Andrew Solomon

“The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook” by Edmund J. Bourne

“The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness” by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal & Jon Kabat-Zinn

“From Panic to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life” by Lucinda Bassett

DIVORCE:

“The Good Divorce” by Constance Ahrons

“Rebuilding” by Bruce Fisher

“Mom’s House, Dad’s House” by Isolina Ricci

“The Divorce Book for Parents” by Vicki Lansky

“What About the Kids?” by Judith Wallerstein & Sandra Blakeslee

“Co-Parenting After Divorce” by Diana Shulman

EATING DISORDERS:

“Bulimia: A Guide to Recovery” by Lindsey Hall & Leigh Cohn

“Anorexia Nervosa: A guide to Recovery” by Lindsey Hall & Monika Ostroff

“Feeding the Empty Heart: by Barbara McFarland & Tyeis Baker-Baumann

“The Hungry Self” by Kim Chernin

“Diary of an Exercise Addict” by Peach Friedman

EMOTIONAL INCEST:

“Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners – Understanding Covert Incest” by Kenneth M. Adams

“The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do when a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life” by Patricia Love & Jo Robinson

LOSS & GRIEF:

“Necessary Losses” by Judith Viorst

“On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss” by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler

“Surviving Grief . . . and Learning to Live Again” by Catherine M. Sanders

“How to Survive the Loss of a Love” by Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield & Melba Colgrove

PTSD:

“I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors” by Aphrodite Matsakis

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook” by Glenn Schiraldi

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” by Raymond B. Flannery, Jr.

RAPE:

“Hours of Torture, Years of Silence” by Teresa Lauer

“After Silence: Rape & My Journey Back” by Nancy Venable Raine

“The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-By-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault” by Aphrodite Matsakis

“Quest for Respect: A Healing Guide for Surivors of Rape” by Linda Braswell

“Lucky: A Memoir” by Alice Sebold

RELATIONSHIPS:

“Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix

“Keeping the Love You Find” by Harville Hendrix

“Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved” by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt

“Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay” by Mira Kirshenbaum

“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman

“The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman

SEXUAL ABUSE/INCEST:

“The Courage to Heal” by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

“Outgrowing the Pain” by Eliana Gil

“Outgrowing the Pain Together” by Eliana Gil

“Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women” by E. Sue Blume

“Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually or Emotionally Abused” Steven Farmer

“Can’t Touch My Soul: A Guide for Lesbian Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse” by Donna Rafanello

“The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” by Wendy Maltz

“Father-Daughter Incest” by Judith Lewis Herman

“Betrayed as Boys” by Richard Gartner

“Victims No Longer” by Mike Lew

SIBLING ABUSE:

“Sibling Abuse: Hidden Physical, Emotional and Sexual Trauma” by Vernon R. Wiehe

“What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse” by Vernon R. Wiehe