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lost

From: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-07 08:32 AM (1 of 11)

Hello everyone, this is going to be bad, but it is what it is. Basically i feel like i'm falling apart. I'm a girl, almost 21 years old, and i'm completely alone. No friends, never experienced love, and i still live with my mom. I've been trying to enter medicine school since 4 years ago and still can't make it, every time i try  the admission test, no matter how much i study, i fale. Since this is my biggest dream (no, it's not even a dream, it's like an inner calling that even if you try, you can't ignore. Maybe some of you know what i'm talking about)) i tryed to keep going every time, telling myself that someday it was going to be worth it. But it's just not happening .(i found out today that i didn't pass even this time, and i swear i felt like somebody stabbed me in the heart). And above all i gained about 30 pounds...i know that this is probably not the right place to talk, but i don't know what to do anymore.. how is it possible to feel so hopeless and lost at my age? what if you're not supposed to get better? i feel so alone and desperate..i'm so sorry because i know there are people who are fighting every day for their lifes..but i just feel like my future is only going to get darker. i'd love to hear everyone's advice. (by the way sorry for my bad english, still working on it)
Hello everyone, this is going to be bad, but it is what it is. Basically i feel like i'm falling apart. I'm a girl, almost 21 years old, and i'm completely alone. No friends, never experienced love, and i still live with my mom. I've been trying to enter medicine school since 4 years ago and still can't make it, every time i try  the admission test, no matter how much i study, i fale. Since this is my biggest dream (no, it's not even a dream, it's like an inner calling that even if you try, you can't ignore. Maybe some of you know what i'm talking about)) i tryed to keep going every time, telling myself that someday it was going to be worth it. But it's just not happening .(i found out today that i didn't pass even this time, and i swear i felt like somebody stabbed me in the heart). And above all i gained about 30 pounds...i know that this is probably not the right place to talk, but i don't know what to do anymore.. how is it possible to feel so hopeless and lost at my age? what if you're not supposed to get better? i feel so alone and desperate..i'm so sorry because i know there are people who are fighting every day for their lifes..but i just feel like my future is only going to get darker. i'd love to hear everyone's advice. (by the way sorry for my bad english, still working on it)

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From: crazyjane1
To: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-08 12:46 PM (2 of 11)

Hi there,
First of all, don't be so down on yourself! That test is very hard! You will make it! Just don't over study. Sometimes people over study and when it comes time to take the test, they freeze or draw a blank on an answer, even though they know that they know it! You are young and have plenty of time. Take a break from taking the test and concentrate on getting your weight down. Then, the rest will fall into place. You need to take care of yourself first. Don't you have any brothers or sisters? You should get out and make friends. What about somebody that you have gone to school with? At 21 years old, you should have a couple of close friends who will support you along with family members!! Keep your chin up and move forward! I will be a weightloss buddy with you if you would like! I am honest with people and a good listener and supporter. I will cheer you on and encourage you the best I can. Hope you have a great day and just remember, don't sweat the small stuff.
Hi there,
First of all, don't be so down on yourself! That test is very hard! You will make it! Just don't over study. Sometimes people over study and when it comes time to take the test, they freeze or draw a blank on an answer, even though they know that they know it! You are young and have plenty of time. Take a break from taking the test and concentrate on getting your weight down. Then, the rest will fall into place. You need to take care of yourself first. Don't you have any brothers or sisters? You should get out and make friends. What about somebody that you have gone to school with? At 21 years old, you should have a couple of close friends who will support you along with family members!! Keep your chin up and move forward! I will be a weightloss buddy with you if you would like! I am honest with people and a good listener and supporter. I will cheer you on and encourage you the best I can. Hope you have a great day and just remember, don't sweat the small stuff.

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From: happinesshunter427
To: crazyjane1
Posted: Sep-08 02:28 PM (3 of 11)

I don't know, i just feel like i'm falling apart and that each step i take doesn't make sense at all. You are right, i should have friends from school, but the problem is that we lost each other on the way..everyone is so busy with their lifes..and as soon as i started to struggle they left me alone..well i guess it's been also my fault, i'm not perfect..and regarding my family, i have only one brother, wich is 27 and lives very far away from me, and we barely know each other or talk..it's a long story.By the way i would love us to be weight loss buddies!  
I don't know, i just feel like i'm falling apart and that each step i take doesn't make sense at all. You are right, i should have friends from school, but the problem is that we lost each other on the way..everyone is so busy with their lifes..and as soon as i started to struggle they left me alone..well i guess it's been also my fault, i'm not perfect..and regarding my family, i have only one brother, wich is 27 and lives very far away from me, and we barely know each other or talk..it's a long story.By the way i would love us to be weight loss buddies!  

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From: ciwrey
To: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-08 02:36 PM via the Mobile app (4 of 11)

Sometimes life throws you a curve and doesn't go the way you want. Perhaps the best thing to do is change gears and do something else, anything else. Find a job where you can be successful and build on that. We get stuck because we walk in circles. Make a different plan and try not to obsess on what wasn't. Refocus on what can be. Good luck!
Sometimes life throws you a curve and doesn't go the way you want. Perhaps the best thing to do is change gears and do something else, anything else. Find a job where you can be successful and build on that. We get stuck because we walk in circles. Make a different plan and try not to obsess on what wasn't. Refocus on what can be. Good luck!

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From: irishgal1960
To: ciwrey
Posted: Sep-10 02:00 PM via the Mobile app (5 of 11)

Hello First my heart breaks to hear you so sad and depressed and down on yourself. You truly need to do something for yourself. Besides coming back here you often and doing something good for yourself you should probably talk to a professional. You need some help to stop being so down on yourself! You deserve to treat yourself better. Did you ever give thought as to why you are not getting high enough scores? Do you think you could actually be scared of what you want most? You need to talk this out with someone or I rain some tools to help yourself cope and move forward. I would like to suggest you purchase Jillian's Unlimited book in audio format. Jillian is wonderful to listen to and she helps you see things in a different light. This may be a start to help you take the next step, but I can feel your pain and you need to take some action. I listen to Jillian while I run and she is very honest and helpful in getting you to look at yourself and examine why you feel the way you do. She then gives you tools to help. It can't hurt to try. Please take some step to move past this feelings you certainly deserve better.
Hello First my heart breaks to hear you so sad and depressed and down on yourself. You truly need to do something for yourself. Besides coming back here you often and doing something good for yourself you should probably talk to a professional. You need some help to stop being so down on yourself! You deserve to treat yourself better. Did you ever give thought as to why you are not getting high enough scores? Do you think you could actually be scared of what you want most? You need to talk this out with someone or I rain some tools to help yourself cope and move forward. I would like to suggest you purchase Jillian's Unlimited book in audio format. Jillian is wonderful to listen to and she helps you see things in a different light. This may be a start to help you take the next step, but I can feel your pain and you need to take some action. I listen to Jillian while I run and she is very honest and helpful in getting you to look at yourself and examine why you feel the way you do. She then gives you tools to help. It can't hurt to try. Please take some step to move past this feelings you certainly deserve better.

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Irishgal
From: happinesshunter427
To: irishgal1960
Posted: Sep-12 04:35 AM (6 of 11)

I am scared. I've always been. But i never actually tought that this could stop me, until it did. On the surface i look calm and everyone thinks i'm  unbreakable, but the truth is i'm not strong, at least not as i should be. I used to cry a lot, every time i wasn't around people. Now i don't do it anymore, i don't know if it means that i'm getting better or if it's a sign that i'm totally broken. i just sit here in my room trying to figure out how to get where i want to be, beacause i know exactly what's my purpose ; the point is, i don't want to spend the rest of my life doing something that doesn't make me happy, and in order to be happy i must listen to my heart, and my heart is telling me to don't give up and fight for what i want, even if it means going through hell. Maybe i'm wrong, but at the end of the day all i have is myself, and i want to be satisfied with it. all the rest is secondary...
I am scared. I've always been. But i never actually tought that this could stop me, until it did. On the surface i look calm and everyone thinks i'm  unbreakable, but the truth is i'm not strong, at least not as i should be. I used to cry a lot, every time i wasn't around people. Now i don't do it anymore, i don't know if it means that i'm getting better or if it's a sign that i'm totally broken. i just sit here in my room trying to figure out how to get where i want to be, beacause i know exactly what's my purpose ; the point is, i don't want to spend the rest of my life doing something that doesn't make me happy, and in order to be happy i must listen to my heart, and my heart is telling me to don't give up and fight for what i want, even if it means going through hell. Maybe i'm wrong, but at the end of the day all i have is myself, and i want to be satisfied with it. all the rest is secondary...

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From: irishgal1960
To: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-15 10:26 AM via the Mobile app (7 of 11)

I understand but at this point you don't sound happy nor do you sound confident. Being scared and not having confidence is a recipe for failure which it sounds like you are setting yourself up for over and over again. Maybe you are just looking for someone or somewhere to express your feelings but you need to put yourself in a position to be successful and it doesn't sound like you are doing this. Please seek some professional help. Honestly being objective and not knowing you your posts are worrisome and I am concerned. You seem to be calling out for help but you also seem to want someone to agree with you and I know it is hard to hear a different opinion. I agree wholeheartedly you should follow your dream, but you need to find additional help or tools to help you get there. It's ok to be scared but if you don't control or conquer your fear it will hold you back. Please please take care of yourself and consider talking to a counselor/therapist.
I understand but at this point you don't sound happy nor do you sound confident. Being scared and not having confidence is a recipe for failure which it sounds like you are setting yourself up for over and over again. Maybe you are just looking for someone or somewhere to express your feelings but you need to put yourself in a position to be successful and it doesn't sound like you are doing this. Please seek some professional help. Honestly being objective and not knowing you your posts are worrisome and I am concerned. You seem to be calling out for help but you also seem to want someone to agree with you and I know it is hard to hear a different opinion. I agree wholeheartedly you should follow your dream, but you need to find additional help or tools to help you get there. It's ok to be scared but if you don't control or conquer your fear it will hold you back. Please please take care of yourself and consider talking to a counselor/therapist.

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Irishgal
From: happinesshunter427
To: irishgal1960
Posted: Sep-21 02:36 PM via the Mobile app (8 of 11)

I've been seing a therapist since one year ago, but it doesn't seem to work out for me, at this point I don't know what to do anymore. You are totally right, probably i can't control my fear, but believe me I'm trying so hard to get out of this nightmare..Jillian would say "there is no try, just do it"..I wish it could be that simple. And i know that if i let my self go i'm the only one to blame, but sometimes i think that it's just not meant to get better, i don't know, i just wish i could be happy for once.
I've been seing a therapist since one year ago, but it doesn't seem to work out for me, at this point I don't know what to do anymore. You are totally right, probably i can't control my fear, but believe me I'm trying so hard to get out of this nightmare..Jillian would say "there is no try, just do it"..I wish it could be that simple. And i know that if i let my self go i'm the only one to blame, but sometimes i think that it's just not meant to get better, i don't know, i just wish i could be happy for once.

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From: Morena242
To: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-22 12:38 PM (9 of 11)

Sweet girl. I pray that your heart is settled and you find the path for you. The only thing that I can say that might be helpful is this too shall pass. When I was in college my world seemed to be falling apart and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I I tried several things and failed. I also struggled with my weight, fear, etc...looking back two things helped. 1. Prayer. I simply asked God for help and peace. 2. Surrendering control. I focused on the things I could change like eating healthy, sleeping more, resting, exercising, and studying. If I didn't do well on test, I got a tutor, talked to professors, and sought help from others. There are support systems out there, most colleges have tutors, mentors, and even conselors. Eventually the storms passed and I had graduated with two engineering degrees. Hope this encourages you! :) May all your dreams come true...
Sweet girl. I pray that your heart is settled and you find the path for you. The only thing that I can say that might be helpful is this too shall pass. When I was in college my world seemed to be falling apart and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I I tried several things and failed. I also struggled with my weight, fear, etc...looking back two things helped. 1. Prayer. I simply asked God for help and peace. 2. Surrendering control. I focused on the things I could change like eating healthy, sleeping more, resting, exercising, and studying. If I didn't do well on test, I got a tutor, talked to professors, and sought help from others. There are support systems out there, most colleges have tutors, mentors, and even conselors. Eventually the storms passed and I had graduated with two engineering degrees. Hope this encourages you! :) May all your dreams come true...

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From: irishgal1960
To: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-23 09:04 AM (10 of 11)

Hello again, I am sending you a hug and prayers.  Please stay strong.  Perhaps you need to change your therapist or find a suppport group.  It really may be that fear of failing is exactly what is keeping you from succeeding and if this fear is eating you up then it will be present in everything you do.  Please try to believe in yourself. Come back and talk with us.  Just pick 1 topic or one thing that is bothering you or that you want to conquer and maybe just a few ideas from others will help you take a step forward.  I don't know if you are religious or spiritual, but I agree you need to have faith and seek an inner peace to move forward. 
Hello again, I am sending you a hug and prayers.  Please stay strong.  Perhaps you need to change your therapist or find a suppport group.  It really may be that fear of failing is exactly what is keeping you from succeeding and if this fear is eating you up then it will be present in everything you do.  Please try to believe in yourself. Come back and talk with us.  Just pick 1 topic or one thing that is bothering you or that you want to conquer and maybe just a few ideas from others will help you take a step forward.  I don't know if you are religious or spiritual, but I agree you need to have faith and seek an inner peace to move forward. 

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Irishgal
From: sho2012
To: happinesshunter427
Posted: Sep-30 10:44 PM (11 of 11)

Hello Dear,
I completely feel what you are going through. There are definitely moments in our life when we want to move forward so badly but we succumb to failure. Trust me, every accomplishment in my life has been so hard. But, after so many struggles, things have happened in the way that would bring me utmost happiness in life. I still think should I go through such a hard time to get every single thing in my life. But, at the end of it, reality beats the past struggles. So, please keep trying and do not let go of your dreams. I understand that gaining weight will not be a morale booster. But, you know what, you are so young, just 21 years. So, if anyone else can do it, you can do it as well. Just plan one day at a time and set short term goals. Do not go around looking for friends. Believe in yourself and Follow your dreams. Your close ones will follow you:)
Keep trying.
Good Luck.
Hello Dear,
I completely feel what you are going through. There are definitely moments in our life when we want to move forward so badly but we succumb to failure. Trust me, every accomplishment in my life has been so hard. But, after so many struggles, things have happened in the way that would bring me utmost happiness in life. I still think should I go through such a hard time to get every single thing in my life. But, at the end of it, reality beats the past struggles. So, please keep trying and do not let go of your dreams. I understand that gaining weight will not be a morale booster. But, you know what, you are so young, just 21 years. So, if anyone else can do it, you can do it as well. Just plan one day at a time and set short term goals. Do not go around looking for friends. Believe in yourself and Follow your dreams. Your close ones will follow you:)
Keep trying.
Good Luck.

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